Relationship chemistry: What is it? How does it work?

After getting my final chemotherapy treatment at the beginning of May, I experienced ongoing problems with tiredness. Curiously, mental fatigue severe enough to keep me from writing blog posts had little effect on my ability to date and socialize. Which makes sense, I suppose; our ancestors spent millions of years socializing, not blogging.

My busy dating life gives me plenty of opportunities to learn more about relationships. Which brings me to today’s topic, personal (relationship) chemistry.

Continue reading
Share

Love convincer strategies: the Love Languages meta-program


Buy on Amazon

Gary Chapman’s book The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts explores common convincer strategies for love. Chapman calls them love languages.

When someone gets plenty of convincing evidence they are loved — evidence that fits their convincer criteria — they feel loved and appreciated. In Chapman’s words, their “emotional gas tank” gets filled.

When people don’t get convincing evidence of love — or worse, when they get convincing evidence that they are not loved — their emotional gas tank gets depleted and they feel unloved, unappreciated… and often hurt, hostile, resentful, etc. This can happen even when they are receiving lots of love — because it’s in a form they don’t recognize as love.

Continue reading
Share

The myth of fast NLP mastery

In “NLP and the myth of the quick fix,” I discussed how promoting NLP as an instant cure-all causes problems for NLPers an our customers.

Unfortunately, NLP’s “quick fix” mentality also extends to NLP training.

Instant NLP mastery!

NLP includes advanced technology for quickly transferring skills. However, while training can expose students to skills and techniques, mastering skills takes practice. And practice takes time.

Continue reading
Share

10% of vision-impaired people hallucinate

Neurologist Oliver Sacks explains Charles Bonnet syndrome, a type of visual hallucination that affects 10% of visually impaired people. Most are afraid to mention it lest others think they’re crazy. About 10% of hearing-impaired people get auditory hallucinations for similar … Continue reading

Share

Structure of PTSD video by Andrew T. Austin

NLP expert Andy Austin explains the anatomy of post-traumatic stress disorder — including the hidden factor that drives the PTSD trauma:

(This clip is part of the 2009 NLP Advanced Mastery Training video series, featuring Andy Austin, Steve Andreas, and Steven Watson. )

Continue reading
Share

Fast technique resolves trauma, PTSD

In the video link below, Tom Stone of Great Life Technologies demonstrates a quick and simple method for quickly resolving PTSD and emotional traumas.

Video: http://www.vaporizeyourcombatstress.com/Resolution.html

Tom Stone’s process for eliminating PTSD

From my analysis of Tom’s video, the steps are:

  1. Elicit the trauma/PTSD state enough to get a reaction. (The client must be able to feel the reaction to do the process.)
  2. Have the client verify that they can feel the problem response in their body.
Continue reading
Share

How to pick competent role models

In a previous post, I discussed the problems of learning skills and attitudes from role models who aren’t competent. In this post I’ll discuss how to find real experts to learn from.

What makes an expert?

To find good exemplars (examples of a skill or ability) to learn from, evaluate their results. Ask:

  • How good are the person’s actual results? It doesn’t matter if Rowena thinks she is the world expert in good relationships; it matters whether she has good relationships. Judge only by results, not by what you, she, or other people think will work, does work, or should work.
  • Does this exemplar get consistently great results? Someone who has excellent relationship skills will tend to have lots of good relationships: with their spouse, parents, children, friends, neighbors, etc. They’ll also have minimal problems with bad relationships, quarrels, firings, and people doing nasty things to them.
Continue reading
Share