From an Inherent Excellence blog post by NLPer and life coach Erol Fox, who writes some good stuff:
People just don’t understand what love is, so they suffer. Most Westernized people think love is when you can’t live without someone or some object. Any doctor will tell you that actually sounds like a disease.
Atisha, a Buddhist monk in the 10th Century echoed what love really is:
“Love is the wish for others to be happy.”
Really? I disagree.
Merely wishing others to be happy, without taking tangible action to help them achieve happiness, is not love. It is mental masturbation. And delusional, if a person thinks that intending love makes up for their unloving actions.
Recently I have been dealing with a cancerous breast lump. I had surgery in December, and started chemotherapy a few days ago. At this point my prognosis is good, and I am doing well.
Using my NLP and hypnosis skills to deal with cancer
As you can imagine, throughout my diagnosis and treatment, I have been using my NLP and hypnosis skills to:
- Accept my situation, and deal with it resourcefully and proactively.
- Keep my perspective. While I am dealing with a potentially life-threatening illness, in the present I’m in good health, and better off than millions of other people. Including many people I’ve personally met.
- Manage my internal states, so that I am consistently resourceful almost all the time, in a good mood, and mostly happy. Rather than staying in unresourceful and unpleasant states, I have taught myself to automatically pop out them after a short time.
Today I’m going to remind you of a simple NLP pattern that can help you:
- Make friends and keep them
- Become more popular and attractive to others
- Get dates and keep partners
- Reduce conflict and negativity in your life
- Get more support from others
- Keep people around you happier
You already know this skill. You learned it during NLP training, and use it during interventions.
But you probably haven’t generalized it to everyday life. (Most NLPers don’t.) This subtle shift in language can make a big difference.